Sunday, March 15, 2009

More Changes to the Plan (break out your violins)

The "Rot Violine" painting was the first painting that I finished this year (although it was started in the middle of December). It was a commissioned piece that I kind of wished I'd saved to sell in the gallery (the guy that I painted it for has since run into financial problems and hasn't finished paying for it - and I know I could have sold it for much more in the gallery). Perhaps I should do another one. Recognize the instriment, Tim? Although it is in disrepair (and has been for many years) I've used it in many paintings.

There’s nothing like making a plan – because nothing ever goes that way, or, at least, that’s the way that it always seems to me. I’m not a big plan maker usually – and maybe it’s for that very reason. My plans, though, for my year of jubilee, were something that I was really excited about and, even though changes had come, they were minor, and I was going to adapt and overcome.
For those of you who may not have heard, Brenda and I have decided that we are no longer a couple. At first, I lamented the relationship, but, as I’ve had a week or so of perspective, it’s been – and actually continues to be – one of the nicest relationships that I’ve ever had. How can I be sorry for finding one of the best friends that I’ve ever known? We’ve had many great times and very few bad. I’m choosing to celebrate the fact that I’ve met one of my best friends ever, rather than losing a girl friend. Bren’s family is also very important to me; how fortunate that I’ve met them and been included in their lives.
Though we will continue our friendship, I must soon move along; leave this wonderful place out in the country. At first I felt that this crushed all of my plans to become a full time, freelance artist. How could I afford to do so? After all, the expense of a new place was not part of the plan. I’ve looked at it from many sides now, though, and I’ve decided not to give up on my dreams and my year of jubilee … although the plans may have to change a little. I may have to push the timing back a little more.
The way that I’m looking at it now, I have so many opportunities in front of me: I can travel to foreign lands and paint as I had planned right after college, or I can go on “walkabout” here in the states again, traveling, painting, and posting my progress. I can also apply for grants and stay in the area to continue painting with Del and working on my art business. I could also go back to school and get a master of fine art degree (which would require moving anyway, as there are no MFA degrees in the local area in either printmaking or painting). I’ve thought about going off to the Art Student’s League in New York City, and the idea of joining the Peace Corps and teaching underprivileged kids in third world countries has also crossed my mind many times in the past. In any case I will continue to pursue writing projects about my work and adventures and attempt to publish them.
So, you can see, my future is wide open. Somehow, though, it’s going to take my heart some time to be as positive as my head is trying to be.